Payton's Journal
Dear Ladies,
A few weeks ago I asked what to do about the backlog of stories, and the consensus was that I should just keep posting them until I ran out. This story was written at the end of last summer. I was wondering how a child would see Mingo. This story is the result of that pondering. Paytons Journal
A few weeks ago I asked what to do about the backlog of stories, and the consensus was that I should just keep posting them until I ran out. This story was written at the end of last summer. I was wondering how a child would see Mingo. This story is the result of that pondering. Paytons Journal
Loved the story. it could have taken place in todays world too. Intolerance for different folk is something still around today unfortunately. Thanks
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Hi Cynthia,
What a nice story. It's a good thing I wasn't with Mingo, I would have shot the old man.
It's sad that prejudice exists. I keep thinking of the old man. I'm glad you killed him off.
Sorry. Speaking of being prejudice; but he was just hateful.
I guess I better stop while I'm ahead. Sort of.
Thanks again, take care, Judy
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Wonderful story and I agree it is still true today. Hating people for their race, religion and skin color is still going on today. Luckily there are people like Mingo living today who take the high road.
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Hi Cynthia,
It occured to me that Mingo didn't get hurt in this one. Well physically anyway.
Thanks,
Judy
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Hi Cynthia,
I apologize that I only made the time to read your story yesterday. It is a very nice little story, and the diary format allows for a completely different way to tell what happened during this particular period in Payton's life. I actually prefer the diary and first-person modes of story-telling as they force the reader to use one's own imagination to fill in the details about the geography, clothing, etc.
Of course, being the nit-picker that I am ... I did find one thing that bothered me a little. First, I found it a bit strange that Mingo did not talk profusely to the family to introduce himself and explain the circumstances with his sick friend. Had he done so, it could have created a different type of suspicion on the part the father to have a "good talking" Indian in his home. I don't think it would have changed the father's prejudice at all, and I think he would have been just as leery of Mingo. It was interesting to follow Payton's reactions and see that he avoided adopting the prejudices of his father.
Thank you again for a nice story!
Ellen
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Dear Ellen,
No apology needed! I'm pleased that you liked the story and took time to make such pointed comments. It's interesting to me that you picked up on the plot devise that you did. I wanted the boy to develop his own observations and perceptions along with the reader. I didn't want to "tell" the reader Mingo's personality or the reasons for the strain in the family. Here's how the plot developed in my mind:
1. Mingo brings his sick friend to the cabin; mother and daughter accept that help is needed
2. Father arrives to find the Indians in his cabin; instantly the prejudice rears its ugly head
3. Payton comes in after his father to find the situation already simmering
4. Mingo does not know the reason for the prejudice but must deal with it; he does so
5. Payton learns many life lessons by observing the interactions
6. There is a reason for the prejudice; it is not blind
That's my thought processes in a nutshell. I had tried the diary format with one of my western stories and liked it very much. It's funny to me that no one said that this story could easily have a sequel. It's especially funny since comments on my other recent stories have suggested a sequel would be easy to do. THIS ONE has a sequel.
Cindy
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I think George Lucas proved with the Star Wars movies that any story can no only have a sequel, but the story can have a prequal as well! I never wonder where your imagination will take you ... as I have said before, I just stand in awe of your ability to capture a moment in time and write about it.
When I was reading Payton's Journal, it reminded me of a for-real Civil War journal/book called "Company Atch" that was written by a CSA private who fought mainly in Tennessee, but also in Virgina. It was a terse, in-your-face writing style that presented the facts without "fluff".
Ellen
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I too have read diaries of Civil War veterans. What most influenced me, though, are the diaries of pioneer women. I am always amazed, as well as troubled, by their unembellished style. Sometimes they seem emotionally dead. Having been dragged somewhere I hated by my own husband nearly 35 years ago, I understand their stoic acceptance. Still, it brings a lump to my throat every time I read of their determinded resignation to events far beyond their control. Laura Ingalls Wilder's mother Caroline is also an example. What a remarkable woman she must have been, yet she is representative of thousands who mutely endured. Have you ever read Giants in the Earth?
Cindy
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